gohomebarbara:

• Was that an earthquake or did the angles of your face just shift slightly?
• I may not be a genie, but I do come from inside a bottle.
• I wish you were cable television so I could change the channel to something a little dirtier. But I also kinda wish you were DSL so I could send my data streaming through your tubes. Then again, if you were a camera I could photograph myself naked with you.
• You’re like a student and I’m like a math book. I haven’t changed fundamentally in nearly thirty years, but you’re not a day over fifteen.
• Do you have any raisins? No? Then how about a date? It would involve my banana and nuts, your melons, the busting of everybody’s cherries, and sure, I could bring raisins. 
• Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running from wolves in my mind all day.
• Are you a house? Because I’d like to purchase you and live inside of you.
• Do you have any raisins? Well then do you want to come home with me? Well do you have any raisin not to?
• Do you have any raisins? No? Then how come you’ve been raisin the issue of sex in my brain for the last half hour as I’ve watched you from the shadows? 
• Are you a raisin? Sure you are. You’re a raisin the bar for attractiveness.
• Are you a raisin? Ah, but you are. You’re a raisin my blood pressure. From sex want.